Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

Archive for January 13, 2010

A Total Game Changer for Anime/Cosplay Conventions

BEHOLD!!!
O Hai Thar!

Yes, that is a Pedobear hoodie.

At the mind-shatteringly low (google : sarcasm) price of $175.00(!!!!), one would be a fool not to pick this up. Think of all the fun one could have at Anime conventions! It would be comedy gold!

Seriously though, let’s all get a bunch of these and then flashmob a Miley Cyrus concert.

If you feel that you must buy such a thing, click here.


CCQ picks the Top 5 stories of 2009

CCQ Top 5 of 2009:

Alright, the year has ended and thus it’s time for me to round up the year and present my top 5 picks for the best stories of the year. Now, this being comics we’re talking about, some things get a little tricky when it comes to if  a particular story should be eligible. For example, I will not include BLACKEST NIGHT on this list, no matter how many people claim it as the best of the year, because it hasn’t ended yet. (That and I don’t go ga-ga over it the way some people do. It’s an okay enough story, but it hasn’t given me the unending nerdgasm everyone has told me I should be experiencing over it.)
So here we go!

5. “Invincible Iron Man : World’s Most Wanted” (Marvel)
Iron Man, Iron Man, Does Whatever An Iron Can!
[Buy It At Amazon]

Matt Fraction has done something that I didn’t think was possible in the comic medium; he wrote an Iron Man story that people will actually remember. Do you know how many of those actually exist? To my knowlege the only two story arcs anybody can name as being of any lasting quality are “Demon in a Bottle” and “Armor Wars.” Perhaps the stuff with Doom, but I really only love that one because I love me some Doom. Seriously, that guy does not get the treatment he deserves. How many GREAT Doom stories can you count? He and Tony should totally hook up and make little underappreciated babies.

When it comes to “World’s Most Wanted,” (hereafter refered to as WMW because I think that acronym looks cool) Matt Fraction gives us a breakneck paced thriller that would work as a James Bond or Jason Bourne film. The protagonist being up against the wall makes for some great character moments, showing just how Tony Stark deals with such things, as well as forcing the narrative forward in ways that wouldn’t work with the hero on level ground.

I cannot recommend this one enough. Even if you don’t normally read Iron Man, this one is definately worth checking out. It’s as good as it gets in modern Marvel comics. No joke.

4. Filthy Rich (Vertigo Crime)
She Got Some Purty Lips...
[Buy It At Amazon]

The Vertigo Crime line kicked off with a bang with Brian Azzarello’s “FILTHY RICH,” the story of an ex football star turned car-salesman who gets suckered into a job as a bodyguard that quickly devolves into some of the girttiest noir this side of a Raymond Chandler novel.

Azzarello cranks up the noir to eleven and artist Victor Santos utilizes the stark black and white pallatte to create a world that positivly drips with dirt and grime. It’s a harsh reality filled with harsh people and as a reader you can’t help but be drawn in by the intricacies of the story, and believe me when I tell you that this is not a simple book. Don’t judge the book by it’s size, the scope and content contained within this graphic novel is mindblowing and it’s something you’ll want to go back and read again just to pick up on new details.

3. INCOGNITO (Icon)

You've Got Red On YOu
[Buy It At Amazon]

I want to punch Ed Brubaker in the trachea. Or maybe in the kidneys. I dunno, somewhere painful. As a writer who labors to write even the most trite of a narrative, I hate Ed Brubaker for being able to consistantly and constantly put out such great material, and the fact that he does so mutliple times a month is enough to drive me into a seething rage not seen outside of a Tea-Party protest. Seriously, Bru, you suck.

“Incognito” re-teams Brubaker with Sean Philips, his collaborator from the equally amazing “Sleeper” and “Criminal” series. The art is perfectly suited to the world that Ed creates, it’s a sort of murky realm where people like this seem natural and organic, like they were born out of the scenery to play out the story that their God, Ed Brubaker hath destined them to partake in.

As a sort of flipside to the world of superheroics, much in the way “Sleeper” was, “Incognito” delivers familiar ideas viewed through a different lens. It’s basically the logical grandchild of the Watchmen era. And just as readable.

2. CHEW (Image)
NOM NOM NOM!
[Buy It At Amazon]

If you were one of the lucky few who picked up CHEW # 1 when it first hit stands, congratulations not only were you in on the ground floor of one of the best new comics in years, you also struck gold because that first edition is going for mucho money right about now. It went back to press another three times and now if you haven’t read it, you’re just doing it out of spite because this book is what finally allowed me to say I read Image Comics out loud with no shame. Yeah, “Walking Dead” is amazing and so is “Invincible” but those are both written by Kirkman, so I was previously just saying “I read Kirkman comics” because I’m still not too keen on much else being published by Image but this is certainly helping.

Would you like me to tell you what the book is about, just in case you’re completely in the dark regarding what I’ve been rambling about for the last paragraph? Lemme just give you the official synopsis:

Tony Chu is a detective with a secret. A weird secret. Tony Chu is Cibopathic, which means he gets psychic impressions from whatever he eats. It also means he’s a hell of a detective, as long as he doesn’t mind nibbling on the corpse of a murder victim to figure out whodunit, and why. He’s been brought on by the Special Crimes Division of the FDA, the most powerful law enforcement agency on the planet, to investigate their strangest, sickest, and most bizarre cases.

Chicken is also illegal in the book.

Yeah, go read it.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe (Oni Press)
You Can't Tell Here, But That Cover Is SHINY!!!
[Buy It At Amazon]

I cannot put into words how much I love Scott Pilgrim. Seriously, it’s awesome. So awesome that it had to be imported from Canada. Who knew, right? Anyhow, the series has been balls-to-the-wall cool since it’s inception but the lastest volume (being 5) seriously nails the emotional notes that it aims for and really provides us with solid development for the characters that has been slowly building since the first page of the first volume.

I can’t really do it justice, so here’s an actual page.

OMFG CAKE!

Nom Nom Nom, indeed.


Welcome, Supposed Readers!

WELCOME!

QUESO BITCHES!!!!

My name is Jacob and I read comic books. I know what you’re saying. “Big Whoop! Lots of people do, why are you writing a blog? Why should I care? Did you know Jesus was a black man?” The answers are because I can/want to, because if you don’t I’ll kick you in the narbles, and there are no black Jews. They’re a myth like the female orgasm or sane Republicans.

If you read that last little paragraph and are still with me, congratulations you’ve got mental probelms. But so do I, so we should become good friends real soon. For the actual reasoning behind the blog I’ll give you a quick rundown. I work in a comic book store in Houston. Probably THE biggest one in Houston. I mean it’s huge, and filled with stuff that gives me a nostaliga boner on a daily basis. (If you don’t know which one I’m talking about really want to know, find me on Facebook because I manage the Facebook account for the store. Hooray Internets!)

I read a lot of comics, working in a comic book store you might think that’s a given but a girl I worked with for a few months never bought a single issue. Crazy, I know. On the other hand, my pull list is nigh unmanageable and I feel like with the amount of reading I do and the amount of bitching I do about the stuff I read, there should be a repository for all that stuff.

So here we are, with a new blog on wordpress and a clever name I came up with while eating cheese dip for lunch. I hope you enjoy the ride. Expect my first hard hitting article to be up sometime soon, with a review of this week’s books to be posted sometime before Saturday, which I hope will be standard operating procedure for the duration of the blog.