Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

Ronin’s Ramblings – Part One

Ronin’s Ramblings

Part One

Eh, what? “Oh hey, it’s that guy who is also Reverend’s brother who talks about games and stuff.” “What? You mean that guy who hasn’t written anything for the blog in, like, forever?” “Yeah, that guy… dude, who says ‘like’ like that anymore? And it hasn’t really been forever since his last post.”  “Did you just call me dude… seriously?  Plus, why are you defending him?” “Well, maybe I just think we shouldn’t be so critical of him is all.” “More like you got a crush on the guy.” “A little man crush never hurt nobody. Plus, you see his pic with the tux and cane?” “Nah.” “Well you should.” “Whatever man, let’s just play Call of Duty.”

That was a production of Imaginary Fratboy Theatre. So, yeah. I guess I have been absent for a while. Not because I haven’t had anything to review or report, or that I was without a computer with which to type, I’m just really lazy. Hey, I need at least one character flaw. I have been spending my time recently playing some of the 10 or so videogames that have been released within the past couple of months. I possess a pretty large pile of unfinished material, and I made a vow not to review anything until I had finished it. It’s true, read our origin story, or the slightly more popular ‘All Star Reverend and Ronin’.  But while I can’t review unfinished projects, I can make long-winded paragraph length ramblings about them, hence the title. Not counting the fact that everything about this post up until now has also been me rambling. I don’t really know why I put Part one up at the top, I don’t really plan on doing that much rambling around here. It’s not like I was born a ramblin’ man or anything… *hums Allman Brothers*

God of War 3

Available on the PS3

God of War 3

What? You didn’t finish God of War 3? Actually, I did. I just didn’t really think it warranted a review, you know why? Because its GOD OF FUCKING WAR 3! I mean really, if I’m the kind of person who can enjoy Dante’s Inferno, how could I not absolutely love God of War 3. Visuals: the kind of detail other games leave only to cutscenes. Audio: powerful music and vocals to accompany all scenes of action and drama. Substance. Deicide. When most action heroes lose their family, they decide to take down the people who did it, whether it be some asshole, a gang, or the government, but Kratos decides to kill the big man himself, Zeus. God of War is basically everything a true Clash of the Titans should be. Plus, God of War has, you know, ACTUAL Titans. God of War 3 is one of those things every PS3 owners should possess.

Final Fantasy XIII

Available on the PS3/360

Final Fantasy XIII

Ah yes. The first game on the list that I am still in the middle of completing. My save file says I’m about 26 hours in, so that means I should be done with the tutorial soon. I am a big fan of the Final Fantasy series. I remember back when I owned the original Playstation, and buying  FFVII and FFVIII for $20 each. As time went on and I grew older I branched out and played the earlier titles. My history with Final Fantasy is rather consistent, which will probably prevent me from finishing XIII any time soon. It seems with every Final Fantasy game I get, I play it for a long time but before I finish, I end up setting the game down and letting it rest.  By the time I return to the game, I find that I have forgotten some quintessential skill that is mandatory at the level in the game I last stopped. So I decide to start a new game, and end up enjoying it more the second time that I did the first. I did it with seven, eight, and ten, and I have a feeling that’s how I’m going to treat thirteen. I find myself enjoying XIII more that the average critic. I can handle linearity just fine. It looks beautiful, I love the music, there’s only one character I hate (Which is better than most things I receive from Japan).

Battlefield: Bad Company 2

Available on the PS3/360

Battlefield: Bad Company 2

Meh. I picked this game up on account that I had enjoyed the single player campaign from the first one. It possessed something different from the other shooters around it, with its characters and sense of humor. I heard Bad Company 2 was returning with the same cast of character and became pretty excited. While the first game wasn’t perfect gameplay wise, the sequel was getting enough resources and time, that I thought there would be plenty of room for improvement. When I started playing through Bad Company 2’s campaign it just felt like something was missing. The story while slightly more ludicrous that your other generic shooters,  didn’t capture me the same way the first did. Was it because I had already experienced the originality of the first game that the second one just didn’t affect me? Was it because the developers decided to make the second more similar to Modern Warfare to reach a wider audience? Was it because they focused on the awesome multiplayer like any true Battlefield game should? Probably the last one. But then again, you know I don’t play shooters online. That’s territory for the imaginary fratboys from earlier.

Pokémon: Soul Silver

Available on the DS

Pokemon: Soul Silver

Hot damn, I just realized that Microsoft Word recognizes Pokemon as being misspelled and Pokémon as being correct. I was afraid I’d have to use the wrong one because I’m too lazy to do that weird é thing myself. So, yeah. Picked up this game, still haven’t finished it. Pokémon has become that series that is big enough that it can remake its old stuff. It has also become that series that possesses just the right amount of familiarity and innovation that each new game is worth playing. I remember back when I was a kid (I seem to be doing that a lot with this post) Pokémon: Blue was pretty much the first RPG I had played. It was the first time I was introduced to item management, level grinding, stats, and all those things that are expected from any role-playing game. This is also a series that contains just the right amount of straightforward and complicated mechanics. Element charts and power levels are easy, but just take a look on the Pokémon wiki at all the intense formulas going on under the hood of this game (not that I have Bulbapedia bookmarked or anything). You may think it strange that someone can enjoy the brutality of God of War 3 and a kind of game like Pokémon, especially within four paragraphs of each other, but really, Pokémon is an enjoyable on much more levels that people give it credit for. It doesn’t take a nerd to enjoy Pokémon (though it may take one to name your starting fire Pokémon after Luffy’s brother from One Piece >_>’).

Borderlands

Available on the PC/PS3/360

Ka-blammo!

Huh? An older game? That’s right. Borderlands was released back in October of 2009. I originally picked it up for the PS3 but never finished it. Then along come Steam, offering me the PC version for half price. I mean, if I didn’t buy it, it’d be like I was losing money. For some reason Steam causes me to adopt Zoidberg logic. Because of it I have bought so many games twice that I don’t feel I can justify it. Except for the fact that I totally can. With Borderland on my PC I had a much more enjoyable experience with the shooter/RPG. Probably a bit of  that Final Fantasy replay magic that I was talking about earlier rubbed off on it. This is a truly fun game. It’s a shooter to the end, but also character development, skills, loot, quests, and all the things that make a dungeon crawler fun. Plus, it doesn’t have all that unnecessary story getting in the way. That isn’t to say that the game has no story, or that I don’t enjoy oodles of storytelling in my games, just the fact that the quantity of story present in this game fits. But the story isn’t what’s important in this game. It’s the guns. The countless amount of varied weapons makes the player want to keep pressing on. I looted a bitching revolver that only had a two round capacity, but each of those two rounds actually shot seven bullets and pretty much guaranteed a kill before having to reload. I thought I was going to end up playing the rest of the game with that one weapon alone, until all of a sudden I pick up an even awesomer gun. This feeling is was makes Borderlands such an enjoyable game, and if you have 3 friends to play the online co-op, it cements this game as one of the best shooters you can experience. And then there’s the fact that this game deserves awards for best cover art and best use of Cage the Elephant in a commercial.

Alright, I think five is a good number for a series of ramblings. Until next time, where we take a look at the five or so Wii games I have something to say about. Or maybe I could talk more about City of Heroes. Did you know that the next Issue just entered Open Beta? Gah…. Better quit while I’m ahead.

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