Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

Posts tagged “GI Joe

Weekly Comic Reviews

I Do Not Actually Look Like Jesse Custer

Fear not, helpless masses! I am returned! After delays and setbacks and general stuff happening in life that doesn’t have much to do with comic books, I’m back to tell you about the weekly pull and what it has to offer. This week was pretty darned massive. It was a tough choice figuring out what to review, because there’s not a much of a point in reviewing part three of a given series, you’ve largely made up your mind by then. I’m more of a startup/wrapup sorta guy. I like to review the beginning or the end, thus chronicling the entirety of the story. Luckily I was able to find some criticism fodder in the pile this week.

ARRIVALS 08-04-2010
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #639 3.99
AVENGERS PRIME #2 (OF 5) 3.99
BATMAN ODYSSEY #2 (OF 6) 3.99
BOYS #45 (MR) 3.99
CAPTAIN AMERICA #608 3.99
DEADPOOL #1000 4.99
GI JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO #157 3.99
IRON MAN LEGACY #5 2.99
IZOMBIE #4 (MR) 2.99
JONAH HEX #58 2.99
JSA ALL STARS #9 3.99
LOSERS TP BOOK 02 (MR) 24.99
SECRET SIX #24 2.99
SHADOWLAND #2 (OF 5) SL 3.99
SHADOWLAND BULLSEYE #1 SL 3.99
SUPERGOD #4 (OF 5) WRAP CVR (MR) 3.99
ULTIMATE COMICS AVENGERS 2 #6 (OF 6) 3.99
YOUNG ALLIES #3 2.99

And let’s hope I can remember how to do this!

DP *heh*
DEADPOOL # 1000

Let’s get this out of the way right now, this book didn’t need to exist. As such, it fits in well with the majority of the Deadpool books being published right now. The only difference, as far as I can tell, is that this one is actually pretty damned good. Unlike that 900 fiasco, which was largely hit and miss. Every segment in this issue was darned entertaining. Especially the Blackest Night parody which I feel was written just for me to warm the cockles of my still-beating black heart! Also of note is the Canada-man segment, which was downright hilarious.

I have to say that for the 4.99 price, you get a hell of a lot for your dollar. I mean, yeah there’s a superflous catalog of artwork showcasing Deadpool comprised of mostly covers from the Deadpool variant month that does nothing but add heft to the book and could have been tossed aside. But then again, this entire book is technically superflous as it adds nothing to Deadpool’s ongoing arc and is simply a showcase of Marvel talent having a go at the merc with a mouth.

One thing that stood out for me when reading this particular issue, is that it’s been so long since I saw Deadpool kill anyone that it was actually kind of shocking how much actual killing he does in this issue. I know it’s odd to say that, but it’s the truth, at least for me. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just kind of an interesting look at what Deadpool has become as opposed to what he began as. Something to ponder…

JoJo 58
JONAH HEX # 58

I need to reiterate that Jonah Hex is probably the one book I would keep reading if I dropped everything else altogether. Or possibly Secret Six, but we’ll get to that later. With this issue, we get what is essentially a poem about the nature of a bullet’s reason for existence juxtaposed against the wild west backdrop of Jonah Hex’s world. The issue deals with a revolving door of people with revolvers and the intent to use them and the consequences of their decision to cock the hammer.

It’s just the sort of thing that works for this book. It’s probably the most oblique type of subtlety you can get. You know there’s a message but with the shades of grey that our characters occupy, the reader can take the message in all sorts of directions. There’s been a lot of good literature written about the toll that the soul takes when confronted with the realities of vengeance and the guilt of taking a life. My next novel touches on just such subjects. Jonah Hex isn’t high literature, but it’s not schlock either. It’s almost the perfect venue to air such a debate. The book is as unflinching as the impact of a bullet.

Also, for no reason, here’s a picture of Jimmy Palmiotti as Watchmen‘s the Comedian taken from Dave Gibbons’ twitter:

That shit is uncanny...

Yeah, that’s about right…

Secret Six
SECRET SIX # 24

After a brief guest writer spot, Gail Simone returns to write the six again in a weird little story that sees the group transplanted into the old west. It’s an interesting little what-if story that confused the hell out of me for a while because I spent more time than I did reading the issue trying to understand its implications. Were they in some sort of virtual reality? Were they transplanted through time? Is Gail Simone a timelord? Is this a one-shot or a full arc? Will we ever get another tub-sex scene as awesome as the one in this issue?

Seriously, it’s a perplexing issue. It’s interesting, just like the entirety of the series has been so far, but it’s jarring as all hell. There’s no segue into the issue, it just hits you and tosses you into this alternate reality with no regard for your brain’s safety. You just have to roll with it. Listen to Ragdoll’s little puppet show and shut your mouth, there is no refuge for you here.

Also, I totes have a crush on Cowgirl Scandal now.

I Say You He Dead...
SHADOWLAND : BULLSEYE # 1

I was going to pass on ALL the Shadowland spinoffs. I was just gonna get Daredevil and the main mini-series and wouldn’t allow myself to get suckered down the long and winding road of books that I don’t normally read. That plan was torpedoed however when I noticed that this particular issue was written by John Layman, him of Chew fame. And so with full faith in the authorship I put the book in my stack, because I figured I’d regret it later if I didn’t.

I was right.

The issue concerns itself with members of the criminal underworld hosting a funeral for the recently perforated Bullseye in the middle of Hell’s Kitchen Park with a kidnapped Ben Urich there to cover the story. The principle character in the narrative is a fellow who can supposedly commune with the dead, and the dead person currently on his telepathic telephone is Bullseye, constantly screwing with his head the whole of the issue.

I would say that this issue acts as an excellent sort of #1.5 interlude between issues one and two. It feels like a story that needed to be told. The underworld’s reaction to Bullseye’s death isn’t something that needs to mentioned in periphery, it’s an important detail and it deserved a full issue. We get the heroes’ reaction in Shadowland 2, but this presented a different perspective that I think readers will definitely enjoy.

*********************************************************
Well, there you go. Tomorrow is my birthday so I may be out of action once again for a little while, but I’ll try to make it up to all of you with something appropriately trashy.
Toodles.

Advertisements

Weekly Comic Reviews

I Do Not Actually Look Like Jesse Custer

Hey, guess what? I read some books! Just like last week? Aren’t I unpredictable? But seriously folks, I got my books yesterday, though about six hours later than usual so I actually stayed up late reading comic books to ensure that I would be able to get this post up in a reasonably timely manner. You guys should send me a gift basket.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #622 GNTLT 3.99
AVENGERS INITIATIVE #33 SIEGE 2.99
BATMAN AND ROBIN #9 2.99
BLACK LANTERN GREEN ARROW #30 (BLACKEST NIGHT) 3.99
BLACKEST NIGHT #7  3.99
BLACKEST NIGHT JSA #3 (OF 3) 2.99
CAPTAIN SWING #1 (OF 4) 3.99
CHOKER #1 (MR) 3.99
DARK WOLVERINE #83 SIEGE 2.99
DEADPOOL #20 2.99
FALL OF HULKS RED HULK #2 (OF 4) FOH 3.99
FANTASTIC FOUR #576 2.99
GI JOE TP VOL 02 19.99
GOTHAM CITY SIRENS #9 2.99
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #36 (C: 1-0-0) 2.99
MS MARVEL #50 3.99
NEW AVENGERS #62 SIEGE 3.99
SUPERMAN #697 2.99
THOR #607 SIEGE 2.99
TRANSFORMERS ONGOING #4 3.99
WONDER WOMAN #41 2.99
X-FACTOR #202 2.99
X-MEN LEGACY #233 XN 2.99

That’s a pretty healthy haul. So what did I think?

ASM 622
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN # 622

For the last few week’s I’ve really been boosting up ASM as a book. I think it’s been consistantly good and that the naysayers have been blinded by their own biases. This issue however is a bit of a mixed bag, in that the lead story with Morbius is actually quite fun if a tad on the light side, not actually being full length and thus appearing somewhat rushed, while the second story with Flash Thompson is just sort of a discombobulated mess.

I am willing to bet that the secondary tale is in there because they need to quickly set up Flash’s new status quo for when he inevitably comes back into the fold of the supporting cast on a regular basis. It feels like the writing team’s attempt to get us re-aquainted with Flash and let us know that by featuring him in such a beefy role in what amounts to a backup story, he must be important enough to care about. Continuity wise, at least.

Like I said, the issue is a mixed bag, but it’s only a slight hiccup in the road as far as I’m concerned, because it’s a one-off story meant to act as an interlude anyhow. I don’t blame them for trying to cram some exposition in there that might have gotten cut short if it were rammed into an ongoing storyline. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…Amazing Spider-Man.

Choker # 1
CHOKER # 1

It’s like Sin City meets Blade Runner with enough of the classic Marlowe noir not to feel cheap. Choker is Ben McCool’s debut creator-owned story and damned if he didn’t knock it out of the park with this first issue. The dialogue is crisp and feels as solid as noir dialogue can, which admittedly can sometimes come off as really cheesy. Remember Frank Miller’s script for The Spirit? Yeah, it’s nothing like that.

I’ve admitted that I’m not normally a fan of Ben Templesmith. His artwork is hard to critique because any complaints can be attributed to his wanting to add a sense of style. And luckily, in the case of this book, the style works. Whereas I felt it actually hindered the story in something like 30 Days of Night, here it feels like any other type of art style would have seemed…off.

Do yourself a favor and pick this one up. I’m always telling people that there’s great new stuff out there and this is no exception. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you pass it up.

Captain Swing
CAPTAIN SWING # 1

Speaking of original material, fuck you Warren Ellis. How the living hell do you manage to crank out so many titles in such short periods of time, and all of them be thoroughly entertaining? Where is your off month? When do I get to read something from you that sucks. That would be a surprise. I would actually be shocked if I picked up an Ellis book and didn’t like it. The man has such a vivid sense of world-building and setting that he could tell an infinite number of stories simply by interchanging the characters and plots from his different endeavors into each other’s locales. In this case, we get a pre-industrial revolution London in the time of the formation of the Metropolitan Police (aka the “Met”) and a mysterious steampunk villain(?) who fires electric bullets and cavorts around town in a flying airship.

Once again, fuck you Warren Ellis. You creative prick.

Ms. Marvel Finale
MS. MARVEL # 50

It pains me to say that reading this final issue of Ms. Marvel, I understand why it’s going away. When your grand finale is so astoundingly anti-climactic that it makes the reader’s chest hurt, you probably should thank your lucky stars that you made it to issue 50. Now, I’ve followed this title since # 1, and I’ve tried to get people on board, because I think that it’s been a really damn good title for the majority of the run. But I see the final arc as sort of a missed opportunity. It seemed…I guess rushed is as good a word as any. Like this is all Brian Reed could come up with because the weight of delivering a final issue was weighing on him so heavily.

The backup story is passable. I’m not a big Noh Varr fan, so it didn’t speak to me on any real level. But something tells me that what happened there will come into play whenever they decide to focus a little more on that character. At least when that happens I’ll be prepared.

Overall, this would have been a fine issue were it not the grand finale. In that sense, it feels like a bit of a misfire.

Wonder Woman 41
Wonder Woman # 41

It’s an extended Power Girl cameo, how the hell do you think I felt about it?

************************

And that’s it for this week, join us next time when I aim to be even more passive aggressive.


Weekly Comic Reviews

I Do Not Actually Look Like Jesse Custer

Ah hell, it’s that time again. Where I sit down and type out a bunch of snarky retorts to the weekly comic offerings I put money down for on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, a bulk of the week’s pull was in trade form and I can’t write up a timely review of collected stories so this column might be on the slim side this week. I’ll try to make for it in repetitive ramblings throughout the reviews.

The Pull List:
BLACKEST NIGHT WONDER WOMAN #3 (OF 3) 2.99
BOYS #39 2.99
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #32 TWILIGHT PT 1 (OF 5)  2.99
CINDERELLA FROM FABLETOWN WITH LOVE #4 (OF 6)  2.99
CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #18 2.99
CRIMINAL SINNERS #4 (MR) 3.5
DARK TOWER FALL OF GILEAD PREM HC 24.99
DEADPOOL TEAM-UP #896 2.99
FABLES TP VOL 13 THE GREAT FABLES CROSSOVER (MR) 17.99
GI JOE ORIGINS #12 3.99
INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #23 2.99
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA ANNUAL #2 4.99
QUESTION #37 (BLACKEST NIGHT) 2.99
RED ROBIN #9 2.99
SIEGE #2 (OF 4) 3.99
SUPERMAN WORLD OF NEW KRYPTON #12 (OF 12) 2.99
WOLVERINE WEAPON X #10 3.99

Boys # 39

The Boys # 39

Not a whole lot goes on here, traditionally speaking. There are maybe three plot movements in the entirety of the book, but this single issue does a great deal to set up the next major arc of the overal narrative because Butcher FINALLY finds out about Hughie banging a supe.

A great deal of the drama thus far has been the reader wondering what will happen when the Boys find out about who exactly Hughie is giving the high hard one to on a nightly basis, given that she’s a part of the group they are ACTIVELY seeking to bring down. And at this point in the issue we get a window into what is going to be coming down the pipe. Butcher reacts not with anger or a sense of betrayal but with a disappointment that he hadn’t been able to figure it out before this very moment. It’s a quiet moment that tells us even more about Butcher as a character. How will he handle the fallout? That remains to be seen. But reading the issue you can tell that Ennis put a great deal of thought into how he was going to handle this moment.

The majority of the issue is spent with Hughie and his girl Annie, exploring the boundaries of their relationship (“LET’S PURCHASE OUR HARDCORE PORN!!!”) and showing what kind of growth their coupling has forced upon them both fundimentally as characters. There is some hint that perhaps being in a relationship with Hughie has changed her in ways that might be driving a gap between them, just in the differences between what the need as far as intimacy and mutual interests. It could be read that Hughie feels a twinge of responsibility for Annie’s sudden personality shift. But, that’s just speculation on my part.

A great many people like to dump on Garth Ennis because his writing veers toward ultraviolence and sophmoric humor, but the man does character moments just as good as any other major writer, and better than some I could mention. The book also has the expressive art of Darick Robertson working in its favor.

Deadpool Team Up 896Deadpool Teamup # 896

I think I’m getting burnt out on Deadpool. And gee, with around six regular series and eighty appearances a month, who would have thought that would happen? This particular issue suffers from the same problems I mentioned in my review of Merc with a Mouth # 7, in that the humor is entirely forced and derivitive. It doesn’t have the voice of Deadpool, that casual zaniness that seems to compliment the character so well. Instead we get cheap trucker jokes and some talking raccoons. Sorry to say, while that would normally have me giddy in my seat, this one just seems to fall flat.

Cover A
GI Joe Origins # 12

Two things made me pick up this issue; Marc Andreyko’s name in the credit list and that awesome cover. I have to admit that interior artist Ben Templesmith’s art styling is not my cup of tea, the issue itself is a pretty good standalone Baroness tale that gives us the new-canon origin of the character and a glimpse into what molded her morals and values before becoming the character as we’ve come to know her.

The issue hits all the right notes, and while the story is nothing we haven’t seen before, it’s a change of pace from where the book has gone previously and I felt I got my money’s worth out of it. Also, nice cover.

SIEGESIEGE # 2

Okay, here’s the one people have been talking about. And it’s impossible to review without major spoilers so just turn back now if you don’t want to know who died and how and what I feel about it.

Gone?

Okay, let’s go.

So Sentry rips Ares right in half. Yep, it’s Ares who was the “big death” Bendis was hyping. And while the fight leading up to it was pretty cool, it’s not all that impressive considering how many people we’ve seen ripped in half over the years, partiularly in Bendis-penned comics(Vision and Carnage, anyone?). Remember in my review of KICKASS where I said that Millar was the best hype man in the game? Bendis is kind of the opposite. Whereas we believe Millar every damned time despite the fact that we’ve been fooled by him before, everytime Bendis says something will be shocking or unexpected, we know that it’s just going to be one of his old tricks. At least this time he didn’t claim that the event would “rip the internet in half.”

Waitaminute…holy shit…

Guys, is that Ares death supposed to be some kind of wink-wink joke? FUCK YOU BENDIS YOU SELF-CONSCIOUS WHORE!!!

****

That’s it for this week. I’m going to go punch a wall and calm down. *deep breath*


And Now, A Collection of Hot Cosplay Babes (a.k.a. A Shameless Attempt To Generate Hits)

Emma FrostEmma Frost

Baroness
Baroness

Black Widow
Black Widow

Catwoman
Catwoman

Zatanna
Zatanna

Marvel Girl
Marvel Girl

Supergirl
Supergirl

Chun Li
Chun Li

Dark Mary Marvel
Mary Marvel

Black Cat
Black Cat

Harley Quinn

***

I would try to say something worthwhile, but I believe the pictures speak for themselves.