Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

Posts tagged “Movie News

Joss Whedon Tinkers With Thor


We’ve heard about reshoots on the set of Thor : The Dark World, and now we’re hearing via SFX magazine that Joss Whedon has been brought in by Marvel to toy around with certain parts of the film in the hopes of bettering the finished product. They seem to be playing it up as the architect of the Marvel cinematic world lending his golden touch but does it spell larger problems for the Norse sequel? Director Alan Taylor had this to say about the situation;

“Joss came in to save our lives a couple of times,” laughs the director. “We had a major scene that was not working on the page at all in London, and he basically got airlifted in, like a SWAT team or something. He came down, rewrote the scene, and before he got back to his plane I sort of grabbed him and said, ‘And this scene and this scene?’ And he rewrote two other scenes that I thought had problems. Then finally we let go of him, he took off again, and we shot the scenes; and they were just much better and much lighter on their feet. Much more fun, much more surprising than what we had been trying to do. I can relate to guys who come out of the TV world, since that’s where I come from. And being able to land and work and solve a problem quickly… I really was grateful.”

It seems like Marvel wants to do anything they can to make their Phase 2 films work. It feels like they aren’t putting much stock in the creative teams they’ve hired from the outset and prefer to tinker after the fact, which might spell trouble down the line. Let’s hope we don’t hear of the need for similar fixes for Captain America : The Winter Soldier. The last thing we need is a visible pattern.

GI Joe Becoming Trilogy, Gains Writer of Mediocre Film

G.I. Joe : The Rise of Cobra
was a servicable film. It wasn’t the abomination everyone wants to make it out to be. G.I. Joe Retaliation isn’t much better. I guess someone thought that the third time must be the charm because Universal has tapped Snow White and the Huntsman scribe Evan Daugherty to write the third installment. Daugherty is riding high following his work adapting the forthcoming big screen adaptation of Divergent, which I swear to god I kept getting confused with Mortal Instruments because I just cannot tell these young adult film adaptations apart anymore. Tumblr has turned them all into one moody, color-corrected blur.

No word yet on who will be returning from the previous installments. Who knows what The Rock’s schedule will look like. I know they’re going to want him back because it was his presence alone that got butts into theaters for Retaliation. I mean, I went just to see RZA play Blind Master, because, c’mon that’s a trip, but the general moviegoing populace generated the rest of the $372 worldwide box office on the back of Dwayne Johnson’s glistening muscles and the shine of his winning smile.

And to pad out the rest of the article and generate page-views, here’s a bunch of photos of Adrianne Palicki who will hopefully be returning as Lady Jaye.

Adrianne Palicki - GI Joe Retaliation-03-560x840Adrianne-adrianne-palicki-34317686-1857-2419
ADRIANNE PALICKI at G.I. Joe: Retaliation PremiereAdrianne-Palicki-in-G.I.-Joe-Retaliation-2012-Movie-Character-Poster1

Jurassic Park expands to Jurassic World in 2015

jurassic-worldWe already knew we were getting a fourth Jurassic Park installment, helmed by Safety Not Guaranteed director Colin Trevorrow off a script he collaborated on with Derek Connolly. Now we have a title; JURASSIC WORLD. According to Variety, we also have a release date of June 12th, 2015. No word yet on what the film will be about, whether any of the cast from previous films will return or whether it will actually be any good. I’m hoping for a dream team cast with William H. Macy and Jeff Goldblum returning to deliver some world class acting. I probably shouldn’t hold my breath.

Ellen Page in Talks For Film Adaptation of Greg Rucka’s QUEEN AND COUNTRY

rtnqncheadI am an unabashed fan of Greg Rucka. His comics work is peerless and his novels are some of my favorites. I’ve met him more than a few times, he’s signed countless books for me while I’ve gushed over his character work and picked his brain for writing tips. He’s one of the most honest writers you could ever hope to encounter as well as one of the most gracious. His perceived masterwork is Queen and Country, a comic series from Oni Press supplemented by a trio of prose novels following the hard-boiled covert operative Tara Chase. It because of Queen and Country that Rucka receives much of his praise for writing strong, fully-developed female characters that are such a rarity in not just comics but all forms of media. The book has been in a cycle of development hell at Fox studios since 2005.

Yesterday news broke that Ellen Page, she of Juno and Cisco networking television commercial fame, is in negotiations to star as Tara in a film adaptation of Rucka’s series. The words “franchise potential” seem to be getting thrown around a lot with regards to this news and while in a perfect world I would thank whatever deity that claimed responsibility for such a thing with whatever tribute he/she demanded, I am hesitant to grow excited about this news just yet. For one, I am not wholly convinced that Ellen Page, the spritely little Canadian, is the right choice to play a rough and tumble British secret agent. Casting for a film like this is extremely important, and the fact that the first thing I hear out of the gate is that they are trying to make a franchise for the star rather than focus on adapting the books faithfully with some sort of artistic through line bothers me just a little bit.

I remain optimistic about the film. Ellen Page is a wonderful actress and I’m sure she can pull it off. That’s why it’s called acting. What I truly want to know is what sort of people will be working on the script and who they’ll get behind the camera. I’m sure Page will lend a hand as a producer, that isn’t much of a stretch. So much of the film is simply an idea right now, which is why I’m reining myself in a little bit with regards to my feeling on the matter. This article is mainly a warning that when news does start to trickle in about Q&C in the future, I’ll be nitpicking it to hell and back because I’m a fan and I’m on the internet and that is the way of things.

Robocop Reboot Trailer Debut

So this is a thing now. I’m not going to write it off entirely because, hey, Michael Keaton, but I do not believe for one second that this will be anywhere near the greatness of the original. I guess we’ll all get to decide for ourselves next year.



We know Jamie Foxx is Electro, we know that Shailene Woodley is Mary-Jane Watson, we have heard that Paul Giamatti might be Rhino. Now we know that Chris Cooper will be playing Norman Osbourne, which is just fantastic news because if there’s anyone who can pull off upper-class menace it’s Chris Cooper. The man exudes “evil white guy” and I’m interested to see his version of the character. Willem Dafoe is a favorite of mine but I couldn’t really get behind his Norman. Too greasy and rodent-like. You get the feeling that the guy never really “snapped” to turn into the Goblin and instead wondered if he just slithered forth from the womb mentally unhinged. The guy could order a cheeseburger and you would wonder if he was plotting your demise.

This report comes on the heels of news about an updated suit that looks basically like the Raimi version with bigger eyes that I didn’t post a report about because I was more interested in a plate of Bagel Bites I was consuming. This news however actually made me raise an eyebrow and while I think that Amazing Spider-Man was a bit of a mixed bag, I think it was a good film for the most part and I hope part two is a further step in the right direction.

I’m still not sold on Jamie Foxx but Cooper guarantees my butt in a seat whenever the film hits theaters, that’s for damn sure.

On Spider-Man Casting…

Yesterday the news broke that Martin Sheen would be stepping up to the plate and playing Uncle Ben in the relaunched Spider-Man film series. This was quickly followed up by the news that Sally Field could be playing Aunt May. (Which makes me dream of Burt Reynolds playing J. Jonah Jameson)

All of this leads me to believe that this reboot might be striving to have a respectable pedigree in the hopes of making people forget the previous incarnation. Certainly Andrew Garfield is on the rise following his role in The Social Network, and Emma Stone seems to be the new it-girl when it comes to the young female talent circle. Director Marc Webb is well-liked following his impressive outing with 500 Days of Summer. All of this seems to be congealing into a production that mirrors, say, Captain America where the cast is almost universally liked and has a competent team helming the ship. The only hurdle the movie will have now is getting people to ignore the last three films. I’m already ignoring number three, so we’re off to a good start I suppose.

Michael Bay to Megan Fox – “GTFO, Bitch!”

Megan FoxAccording to Deadline, Megan Fox will not be returning for the next installment of the Transformers. I guess spending the last year badmouthing Michael Bay and starring in a series of box office flops made it real hard to find a reason to keep her around when you could find any number of equally attractive actresses who would love a chunk of that spotlight without giving the production team half of the grief.

In fact, this article will now simply be pictures of women who I would rather see running around in tight jeans and low cut tops while Robots make explosions in the background and everyone in the theater wonders what the living hell is going on.

Choice # 1 – Alison Brie

Strawberry Fields forever...

In her interview that accompanied the above interview, she talked about her college sex experiences with multiple partners and lady on lady mouth sucking. Which….yeah, let’s just say she’d be more than adequate a replacement for the faux-hypersexualized Fox, who could say the same shit and just come off as dirty, wheras Ms. Brie just seems like she knows what she’s doing. Like some sort of sex doctor.

Also…check out this gif from Community.

Clay Makin

Yeah…you get the idea.

Choice # 2 – Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Mary Marvel...

Also soon to be known as EVERYBODY’S secret crush after Scott Pilgrim hits theaters in August. I’ve had a thing for her since I saw her in Live Free or Die Hard playing Bruce Willis’ daughter. And then in that cheerleader outfit from Grindhouse.

I'm cheering right now...

Yeah, Quentin Tarantino f##king gets me.

CHOICE # 3 – A Giant Clump of Dirt


Still cleaner than Megan Fox, and judging by Jennifer’s Body and the trailer for Jonah Hex, probably more talented in the acting department as well. Though I’ve yet to see the dirt’s screen test, so I won’t make any definitive statements…