Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

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Weekly Comic Reviews

I Do Not Actually Look Like Jesse Custer

Fear not, helpless masses! I am returned! After delays and setbacks and general stuff happening in life that doesn’t have much to do with comic books, I’m back to tell you about the weekly pull and what it has to offer. This week was pretty darned massive. It was a tough choice figuring out what to review, because there’s not a much of a point in reviewing part three of a given series, you’ve largely made up your mind by then. I’m more of a startup/wrapup sorta guy. I like to review the beginning or the end, thus chronicling the entirety of the story. Luckily I was able to find some criticism fodder in the pile this week.

ARRIVALS 08-04-2010
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #639 3.99
AVENGERS PRIME #2 (OF 5) 3.99
BATMAN ODYSSEY #2 (OF 6) 3.99
BOYS #45 (MR) 3.99
CAPTAIN AMERICA #608 3.99
DEADPOOL #1000 4.99
GI JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO #157 3.99
IRON MAN LEGACY #5 2.99
IZOMBIE #4 (MR) 2.99
JONAH HEX #58 2.99
JSA ALL STARS #9 3.99
LOSERS TP BOOK 02 (MR) 24.99
SECRET SIX #24 2.99
SHADOWLAND #2 (OF 5) SL 3.99
SHADOWLAND BULLSEYE #1 SL 3.99
SUPERGOD #4 (OF 5) WRAP CVR (MR) 3.99
ULTIMATE COMICS AVENGERS 2 #6 (OF 6) 3.99
YOUNG ALLIES #3 2.99

And let’s hope I can remember how to do this!

DP *heh*
DEADPOOL # 1000

Let’s get this out of the way right now, this book didn’t need to exist. As such, it fits in well with the majority of the Deadpool books being published right now. The only difference, as far as I can tell, is that this one is actually pretty damned good. Unlike that 900 fiasco, which was largely hit and miss. Every segment in this issue was darned entertaining. Especially the Blackest Night parody which I feel was written just for me to warm the cockles of my still-beating black heart! Also of note is the Canada-man segment, which was downright hilarious.

I have to say that for the 4.99 price, you get a hell of a lot for your dollar. I mean, yeah there’s a superflous catalog of artwork showcasing Deadpool comprised of mostly covers from the Deadpool variant month that does nothing but add heft to the book and could have been tossed aside. But then again, this entire book is technically superflous as it adds nothing to Deadpool’s ongoing arc and is simply a showcase of Marvel talent having a go at the merc with a mouth.

One thing that stood out for me when reading this particular issue, is that it’s been so long since I saw Deadpool kill anyone that it was actually kind of shocking how much actual killing he does in this issue. I know it’s odd to say that, but it’s the truth, at least for me. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just kind of an interesting look at what Deadpool has become as opposed to what he began as. Something to ponder…

JoJo 58
JONAH HEX # 58

I need to reiterate that Jonah Hex is probably the one book I would keep reading if I dropped everything else altogether. Or possibly Secret Six, but we’ll get to that later. With this issue, we get what is essentially a poem about the nature of a bullet’s reason for existence juxtaposed against the wild west backdrop of Jonah Hex’s world. The issue deals with a revolving door of people with revolvers and the intent to use them and the consequences of their decision to cock the hammer.

It’s just the sort of thing that works for this book. It’s probably the most oblique type of subtlety you can get. You know there’s a message but with the shades of grey that our characters occupy, the reader can take the message in all sorts of directions. There’s been a lot of good literature written about the toll that the soul takes when confronted with the realities of vengeance and the guilt of taking a life. My next novel touches on just such subjects. Jonah Hex isn’t high literature, but it’s not schlock either. It’s almost the perfect venue to air such a debate. The book is as unflinching as the impact of a bullet.

Also, for no reason, here’s a picture of Jimmy Palmiotti as Watchmen‘s the Comedian taken from Dave Gibbons’ twitter:

That shit is uncanny...

Yeah, that’s about right…

Secret Six
SECRET SIX # 24

After a brief guest writer spot, Gail Simone returns to write the six again in a weird little story that sees the group transplanted into the old west. It’s an interesting little what-if story that confused the hell out of me for a while because I spent more time than I did reading the issue trying to understand its implications. Were they in some sort of virtual reality? Were they transplanted through time? Is Gail Simone a timelord? Is this a one-shot or a full arc? Will we ever get another tub-sex scene as awesome as the one in this issue?

Seriously, it’s a perplexing issue. It’s interesting, just like the entirety of the series has been so far, but it’s jarring as all hell. There’s no segue into the issue, it just hits you and tosses you into this alternate reality with no regard for your brain’s safety. You just have to roll with it. Listen to Ragdoll’s little puppet show and shut your mouth, there is no refuge for you here.

Also, I totes have a crush on Cowgirl Scandal now.

I Say You He Dead...
SHADOWLAND : BULLSEYE # 1

I was going to pass on ALL the Shadowland spinoffs. I was just gonna get Daredevil and the main mini-series and wouldn’t allow myself to get suckered down the long and winding road of books that I don’t normally read. That plan was torpedoed however when I noticed that this particular issue was written by John Layman, him of Chew fame. And so with full faith in the authorship I put the book in my stack, because I figured I’d regret it later if I didn’t.

I was right.

The issue concerns itself with members of the criminal underworld hosting a funeral for the recently perforated Bullseye in the middle of Hell’s Kitchen Park with a kidnapped Ben Urich there to cover the story. The principle character in the narrative is a fellow who can supposedly commune with the dead, and the dead person currently on his telepathic telephone is Bullseye, constantly screwing with his head the whole of the issue.

I would say that this issue acts as an excellent sort of #1.5 interlude between issues one and two. It feels like a story that needed to be told. The underworld’s reaction to Bullseye’s death isn’t something that needs to mentioned in periphery, it’s an important detail and it deserved a full issue. We get the heroes’ reaction in Shadowland 2, but this presented a different perspective that I think readers will definitely enjoy.

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Well, there you go. Tomorrow is my birthday so I may be out of action once again for a little while, but I’ll try to make it up to all of you with something appropriately trashy.
Toodles.

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Weekly Comic Reviews

I Do Not Actually Look Like Jesse Custer

Oh my god! I actually managed to get these reviews up on time for once! Is that some sort of startling indicator of the end of times? I would normally think so, but the truth is that I just couldn’t sleep last night so I have a little extra time to spend reading instead of snoring heavily and dreaming about being the new cast member on “Community.” Yeah, it’s a great show and I think I could improve the dynamic. Plus I totally have the hots for Alison Brie. Now I’m just wasting time.

THE PULL LIST: 3-24-2010
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #626 2.99
AVENGERS INITIATIVE #34 SIEGE 2.99
CAPTAIN AMERICA #604 3.99
DEADPOOL #21 2.99
FALL OF HULKS RED HULK #3 (OF 4) FOH 3.99
GREEN LANTERN #52 (BLACKEST NIGHT) 2.99
GUILD #1 3.50
JUSTICE LEAGUE THE RISE OF ARSENAL #1 (OF 4) 3.99
MIGHTY AVENGERS #35 SIEGE 2.99
NEMESIS #1 (OF 4) (MR) 2.99
NEW AVENGERS #63 SIEGE 3.99
POWER GIRL #10 2.99
PRELUDE TO DEADPOOL CORPS #4 (OF 5) 2.99
QUEEN SONJA #5 2.99
SHUDDERTOWN #1 (MR) 3.5
SUPERGOD #3 (OF 5) (MR) 3.99
SUPERMAN #698 2.99
THOR #608 SIEGE 2.99
UNCANNY X-MEN #522 3.99
X-FACTOR #203 2.99

And here’s your weekly dose of criticism:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN # 626

Every time I read this book now it feels like I’m going on a date with someone with whom I had an abusive or otherwise temeritous relationship in the past. There’s definately a spark there, a lingering sign that the love that once existed between us is there but it stands obscured by the baggage of our prior relationship. In the case of ASM, it’s two solid issues of ripping complacency from characters who hadn’t had a chance to fully adjust to their new status quo in favor of tepid melodrama.

This issue manages not to incite any anger in me, and in fact I’m happy that the new Scorpion is getting some face time, as I thought she was an interesting character the last time I saw her, which I guess was around the time of World War Hulk, which as fast as comics move nowadays might as well have been a decade ago.

This issue sees Parker deciding he doesn’t like the vibe he gets off his roomate’s boyfriend and follows him to an abandoned construction yard (man, that has to be like the # 2 comic book set piece of all time, along with the sewers or a busy city street/bridge) where it turns out that the Hood is holding a boxing tournament to determine who will be the new Scorpion, or rather, win the old Scorpion’s suit and take up the mantle.

Of course the new Scorpion gal shows up, with a new tail that injects S.P.I.N. tech, which is a nice touch that I can get behind, as if you’re just going to use the tail as a club you might as well call yourself the Beaver. Form follows function, and all that.

Anyway, the issue is your generic fight with the goons and all that jazz, but the part that saved the issue for me is the way Peter finally mans up and deals with the situation left in the wake of the Chameleon putting the moves on his room-mate. That was never resolved to my satisfaction and it diminished Peter’s credibility as a stand-up guy which is not something you want lingering around if you’re supposed to be a hero.

So major points for a half-way decent issue. Sad that half-way decent is a step up after the last few weeks, but I’ll take what I can get.

DEADPOOL # 21

This Hitman Monkey storyline is absolutely ludicrous, but the fact that it gives us some wonderful Spider-man team up moments is enough to justify it’s existence. This issue concludes that little romp with a fun little trick on Deadpool’s part where he steal’s Spider-Man’s costume and tricks New York into thinking that the wall-crawler is dead. The subsequent chaos is quite entertaining and the issue, to me at least, hints at what Marvel wants to do with Deadpool in the near future. If they go down the path that is foreshadowed at the end of this book, maybe having mutliple Deadpool books every month wouldn’t be such an absurd idea, as there would be room for different interpretations in each book.

Who knows, I could be reading it the wrong way. I’ve done that before.

THE GUILD # 1

Ah, Felicia Day. *swoon*

Yes, I admit that I have a soft spot for that cuke like geektress. I admittedly have not watched all of the web-series that spawned this comic book, but luckily you don’t need to have any working knowlege of the series to enjoy the comic. It’s a nice little starter kit and the humor hits all the right marks. The in-game sequences reminded me of that WOW episode of South Park, which is never a bad thing.

Major kudos must be awarded for being able to make me care about the characters involved right off the bat. I think the fact that our lead character’s garage-band boyfriend is the kind of guy that most dude’s hate to see their lovely lady friends attached to is indicative that as a writer, Felicia Day understands her audience to the point where she’ll throw in those kind of empathetic elements without seeming overly pandering.

If you want something that’s all kinds of a fun, well drawn, and new-reader friendly, you could do a hell of a lot worse than this book but you’re not likely to find much better.

JUSTICE LEAGUE : RISE OF ARSENAL # 1

By now I’ve pretty much run my feelings about this whole Green Arrow saga into the ground. I know that what they’re doing with Ollie isn’t going to be a permenent shift and that I can be able to sit back and enjoy the ride for what it is, but with Arsenal I don’t know what will happen in any way shape or form. The fact that this issue surprised me with where it went is indicative of that. I’m going to say right now that I can’t really review this issue without giving out some major SPOILERS so if you don’t want to know some pretty integral plot elements, you might wanna skip along to the next review.

Still here? Okay, in this issue, writer J.T. Krul does something that I hadn’t even considered being an option, that being turning Roy back into a drug addict. This time around it’s not heroin, it appears to be pain killers, but the mindset and the implications of dependency are still there. I don’t really have as much a problem with this as you might think. Let’s be honest, DC has a tendency to regress their characters to points in their timeline that hit home with DC readers. The internet is always in a roar over DiDio’s apparent fetish for reverting things back to the way they were in the Silver Age. In the midst of all this, Roy Harper battling a drug addiciton seems like an obvious move. And given the events that have transpired, it’s not like it’s coming out of the blue.

What really matters is whether or not they find a logical conclusion to the arc. If the ending comes out of left field and makes zero sense to the readers, then they have failed. If they can get even a few people to agree with the reasoning, then they have done their job. Try as I might, I cannot honestly say that character history doesn’t lead me to believe that Ollie Queen wouldn’t murder the man behind destroying his entire city. Logic also tells me that someone with an addictive personality who loses a limb might get addicted to pain killers and regress a little bit. All that matters is how Krul handles the manner in which the stories are told, and I think he’s doing a fair job so far.

NEMESIS # 1

Mark Millar might have shot himself in the foot on this one. In his attempts to elevate the villain as the protagonist, much like he did back in Wanted he may have finally gone too far. With Nemesis, it’s obvious that Millar is trying to build the Batman of all villains. One who always wins and whose plans are elaborate and downright terrifying. We are supposed to be in awe of how well Nemesis’ plans work out, with buildings blown to smithereens, trains de-railed and police chiefs crushed under the aforementioned trains while tied to an office chair. It’s violent spectacle and Millar almost presents the story in a way that we are supposed to cheer for this son of a bitch, who is, let’s not kid ourselves, a fucking terrorist. Mark Millar thinks he’s such a good writer that he can make us applaud the acts of a terrorist. You don’t think that he wanted us to think that Nemesis shooting the pilots of Air Force One while riding the nose-cone isn’t cool? No, he obviously wants to inspire that adrenaline rush. That’s what makes this book feel so dirty. The visuals are astounding and the sheer one-upmanship of Nemesis’ actions beg the reader to be impressed and yet this is the villain. Contrast those actions with that of the “hero,” a DC police chief who swiftly and efficiently kills multiple armed robbers in the span of a few panels and is rewarded and applauded for his cowboy gunslinging.

Millar has created two characters who are obviously both people who garner the same sort of awe in the readership. I think your enjoyment of this title will come out of how far you can distance yourself from reality. I find that in a time where terrorism is such an everyday occurance, it’s hard to take myself out of a book where the title character crashes the president’s plane into the middle of a crowded city.

I haven’t made up my mind yet. So maybe Millar has done his job.

POWER GIRL # 10

Still Awesome, thanks for asking!

SHUDDERTOWN # 1

Seeing how I haven’t seen a new issue of Stumptown hit the shelves in a while and the last good noir book I’ve picked up since then was Last Days of American Crime back in December, Shuddertown should fill the noir-shaped hole in my pull list nicely. The art is dark and muddy, and the narration is full of overwraught metaphors. It’s everything you want in a crime book. Here we get a detective who is battling his own personal demons and trying to figure out if he’s the one mucking up his own investigations or if there’s something deeper.

The story could go in any direction, and I’m on board no matter which way that might be, because damnit I’m a sucker for this kind of stories. It’s my weakness.

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Another week, another group of reviews. Nothing really abysmal that I read this week, and for that I thank my lucky stars. Next week sees the end of Blackest Night, so expect a nice handy writeup about that. I’ll probably review the whole damn series as a whole just to get everything out in the open.

Until then, cheers.