Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

Posts tagged “The Losers

Weekly Comic Reviews

I Do Not Actually Look Like Jesse Custer

Fear not, helpless masses! I am returned! After delays and setbacks and general stuff happening in life that doesn’t have much to do with comic books, I’m back to tell you about the weekly pull and what it has to offer. This week was pretty darned massive. It was a tough choice figuring out what to review, because there’s not a much of a point in reviewing part three of a given series, you’ve largely made up your mind by then. I’m more of a startup/wrapup sorta guy. I like to review the beginning or the end, thus chronicling the entirety of the story. Luckily I was able to find some criticism fodder in the pile this week.

ARRIVALS 08-04-2010
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #639 3.99
AVENGERS PRIME #2 (OF 5) 3.99
BATMAN ODYSSEY #2 (OF 6) 3.99
BOYS #45 (MR) 3.99
CAPTAIN AMERICA #608 3.99
DEADPOOL #1000 4.99
GI JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO #157 3.99
IRON MAN LEGACY #5 2.99
IZOMBIE #4 (MR) 2.99
JONAH HEX #58 2.99
JSA ALL STARS #9 3.99
LOSERS TP BOOK 02 (MR) 24.99
SECRET SIX #24 2.99
SHADOWLAND #2 (OF 5) SL 3.99
SHADOWLAND BULLSEYE #1 SL 3.99
SUPERGOD #4 (OF 5) WRAP CVR (MR) 3.99
ULTIMATE COMICS AVENGERS 2 #6 (OF 6) 3.99
YOUNG ALLIES #3 2.99

And let’s hope I can remember how to do this!

DP *heh*
DEADPOOL # 1000

Let’s get this out of the way right now, this book didn’t need to exist. As such, it fits in well with the majority of the Deadpool books being published right now. The only difference, as far as I can tell, is that this one is actually pretty damned good. Unlike that 900 fiasco, which was largely hit and miss. Every segment in this issue was darned entertaining. Especially the Blackest Night parody which I feel was written just for me to warm the cockles of my still-beating black heart! Also of note is the Canada-man segment, which was downright hilarious.

I have to say that for the 4.99 price, you get a hell of a lot for your dollar. I mean, yeah there’s a superflous catalog of artwork showcasing Deadpool comprised of mostly covers from the Deadpool variant month that does nothing but add heft to the book and could have been tossed aside. But then again, this entire book is technically superflous as it adds nothing to Deadpool’s ongoing arc and is simply a showcase of Marvel talent having a go at the merc with a mouth.

One thing that stood out for me when reading this particular issue, is that it’s been so long since I saw Deadpool kill anyone that it was actually kind of shocking how much actual killing he does in this issue. I know it’s odd to say that, but it’s the truth, at least for me. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just kind of an interesting look at what Deadpool has become as opposed to what he began as. Something to ponder…

JoJo 58
JONAH HEX # 58

I need to reiterate that Jonah Hex is probably the one book I would keep reading if I dropped everything else altogether. Or possibly Secret Six, but we’ll get to that later. With this issue, we get what is essentially a poem about the nature of a bullet’s reason for existence juxtaposed against the wild west backdrop of Jonah Hex’s world. The issue deals with a revolving door of people with revolvers and the intent to use them and the consequences of their decision to cock the hammer.

It’s just the sort of thing that works for this book. It’s probably the most oblique type of subtlety you can get. You know there’s a message but with the shades of grey that our characters occupy, the reader can take the message in all sorts of directions. There’s been a lot of good literature written about the toll that the soul takes when confronted with the realities of vengeance and the guilt of taking a life. My next novel touches on just such subjects. Jonah Hex isn’t high literature, but it’s not schlock either. It’s almost the perfect venue to air such a debate. The book is as unflinching as the impact of a bullet.

Also, for no reason, here’s a picture of Jimmy Palmiotti as Watchmen‘s the Comedian taken from Dave Gibbons’ twitter:

That shit is uncanny...

Yeah, that’s about right…

Secret Six
SECRET SIX # 24

After a brief guest writer spot, Gail Simone returns to write the six again in a weird little story that sees the group transplanted into the old west. It’s an interesting little what-if story that confused the hell out of me for a while because I spent more time than I did reading the issue trying to understand its implications. Were they in some sort of virtual reality? Were they transplanted through time? Is Gail Simone a timelord? Is this a one-shot or a full arc? Will we ever get another tub-sex scene as awesome as the one in this issue?

Seriously, it’s a perplexing issue. It’s interesting, just like the entirety of the series has been so far, but it’s jarring as all hell. There’s no segue into the issue, it just hits you and tosses you into this alternate reality with no regard for your brain’s safety. You just have to roll with it. Listen to Ragdoll’s little puppet show and shut your mouth, there is no refuge for you here.

Also, I totes have a crush on Cowgirl Scandal now.

I Say You He Dead...
SHADOWLAND : BULLSEYE # 1

I was going to pass on ALL the Shadowland spinoffs. I was just gonna get Daredevil and the main mini-series and wouldn’t allow myself to get suckered down the long and winding road of books that I don’t normally read. That plan was torpedoed however when I noticed that this particular issue was written by John Layman, him of Chew fame. And so with full faith in the authorship I put the book in my stack, because I figured I’d regret it later if I didn’t.

I was right.

The issue concerns itself with members of the criminal underworld hosting a funeral for the recently perforated Bullseye in the middle of Hell’s Kitchen Park with a kidnapped Ben Urich there to cover the story. The principle character in the narrative is a fellow who can supposedly commune with the dead, and the dead person currently on his telepathic telephone is Bullseye, constantly screwing with his head the whole of the issue.

I would say that this issue acts as an excellent sort of #1.5 interlude between issues one and two. It feels like a story that needed to be told. The underworld’s reaction to Bullseye’s death isn’t something that needs to mentioned in periphery, it’s an important detail and it deserved a full issue. We get the heroes’ reaction in Shadowland 2, but this presented a different perspective that I think readers will definitely enjoy.

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Well, there you go. Tomorrow is my birthday so I may be out of action once again for a little while, but I’ll try to make it up to all of you with something appropriately trashy.
Toodles.

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Film Review – The Losers

Presenting Zoe Saldana's crotch...

I made the horrible mistake of visiting the IMDB boards for this movie shortly after seeing it. I sometimes forget what a cesspool of ignorance and misery that little patch of internet earth is. Nearly every thread was a black hole of negative energy and petty whining. The people who frequent those boards are, by nature, soulless vultures from the bowels of hell whose one purpose in life is to spread malice and discontent like a disease throughout the labryinth of that site’s message board system. Thread after thread of “They Changed This!” or “Watered Down Crap!” or “This Just Sucked!” or any other mindless dribble they could spurt out like warm blood cut from a femoral artery. I mean, good lord…when you hate everything with such fervor what does it feel like to enjoy something? Would your brain explode like that scene in Scanners? I mean, I am sometimes driven to physical pain by some of the shit I read for this site (*cough*Brightest Day*cough*) but at least 80% of what I read leaves me feeling warm and happy and content. Why are some people so prone to fits of teeth-gnashing hatred over stupid, stupid things?

I should probably state that The Losers is a damn fine film. It hearkens back to the action films of the 80’s that didn’t take themselves too seriously. Where everything wasn’t some pseudo-Jason Bourne world where everything had to be grim and melodramatic and one-liners were punishible by death. I enjoyed it about as much as I have any other movie this year, and I think it’s because everything about the movie is done with the intent of thoroughly entertaining the audience. You do not make your villain chew THAT much scenery if you’re not hoping to go so over the top that you didn’t even realize you’d scaled the bar. This is not an art film people. It’s an action flick for the sake of being an action flick. If you’re not on board with that you probably missed all the signs telling you what to expect when you watched the damned trailer. And don’t act like you didn’t see a trailer.

The major complaints seem to be over the changes made from the book to the film, which I’m tired of hearing. The book and the film are two different entities. Where was the outrage over the changes to Two-Face’s origin back when The Dark Knight came out? There was some, of course. But it wasn’t overwhelming. The boards for The Losers are populated with multiple threads for “ROQUE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE BLACK ****WHARGARBLE***!!!!” or “ZOE SALDANA WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AFGHANISTANIANIANIAN!!!!” or other such negligible bullshit. The changes were made to allow the movie to be the movie and the book to be the book. It doesn’t hurt the book that the changes were made to the film. Judge the film on the merits of what is presented in the context of the film, and there is very little to complain about except for some minor stylistic choices in the action scenes and perhaps the fact that Chris Evans is too damned awesome.

I went back and re-read the first volume of the book following the movie and the spirit of the book remains almost wholly intact. The characters on the screen are very much like their counterparts on the page, except for Max who dialled it up to the point that he makes Bond villains uncomfortable. But on a base level, the two are very much alike, with scenes lifted directly from the book to placate those who need everything to be exactly the same all the time.


Chris Evans is Captain America; or “Marvel Casting And You!”

So after a casting search that included choices so bizarre that fanboy heads most likely exploded in a most literal fashion (I’m sure someone had a heart attack after that Will Smith rumor, and if not him then I’m sure the idea of Jim from the Office donning the shield caused someone to suffer a stroke) we have our Captain America, and he’s apparently also the former Human Torch.

I support this casting choice 100%. Evans is a fine young actor who I think is charasmatic and commanding enough to pull of Steve Rogers. But this editorial isn’t just me salivating over a decent casting choice for 1000 words or so. No, this editorial is a serious look at casting choices and their effect on the collective psyche of the pre-existing fanbase. I find the ways that the fans react to casting decisions outright hilarious at times. But in this instance we get a rarity. An actor who once appeared in a Marvel film as one character jumping into another franchise playing another character. OH THE CONFUSION!

Except it really doesn’t matter. Honestly, I think most of the general population has forgotten those Fantastic Four movies anyway. It’s only the people who have a regular and steady attachment to comics who would ever really give a damn. Do you think the average joe schmoe is going to give a damn whether the guy playing Green Lantern was also that sword guy from Wolverine Origins? I don’t think so, any more than they cared that Reynolds was in Blade Trinity before he was Deadpool. Remember that abysmal piece of trash? Yeah, you do. Because you’re a comic book fan and you can’t let it go. But the rest of the world has.

The truth of the matter is that for some reason, we as a community (I’m speaking of the comic collecting hordes) have a personal investment in the adaptations of our favorite characters. In our minds, anybody but the choice we have already picked out in our heads prior to the acknowlegement of a movie’s possibility of existence is considered a complete and utter failure before seeing anything in the way of evidence to support our claims. And so we have people saying that Evans will be a horrible Captain America because of the way he portrayed Johnny Storm. I honestly can’t see the connection. That’s like saying he’ll be horrible in the upcoming Losers adaptaion because of the way he was in Not Another Teen Movie. Or that he’ll reek in Scott Pilgrim because of his work in Sunshine. I don’t see the connection.

I remember people who I worked with in the shop talking about Robert Downey Jr.’s casting as Iron Man a few years back. People were saying that it would be a disaster. That he was a trainwreck of an actor who would never be able to pull it together long enough to make a decent Tony Stark. Fortunately, they later ate their words with a side of fries because I don’t think anyone will deny exactly how amazing Downey was in that role. Looking back on it, it seems as if Iron Man was created all those years ago just as an excuse to have Robert Downey Jr. play him on the big screen.

And who is to say that in a few years time we won’t be saying the same thing about Chris Evans. He’s obviously got some measure of talent to be racking up high-profile roles in multiple films even prior to this announcement. People keep mouthing off about how he’s in too many comic book films. With this and Fantastic Four plus Scott Pilgrim and The Losers; that’s like complaining that John Wayne did too many westerns and war films. Are you going to begrudge an actor taking roles that he genuinely thinks he can do service to based solely on the source material. How many damned Victorian era literature based films has Kiera Knightley done? Are we supposed to give her hell for that? No, we aren’t. We’re supposed to give her hell for looking like she hasn’t eaten since the last lunar cycle. (She’s really skinny, people.)

My point with this little rant is this; give the boy a chance. Don’t tear him apart before you see the film. Because if you pre-judge the whole affair before a trailer even airs, you’re gearing yourself up to hate it regardless of the quality that may be there when it’s all said and done. And I honestly think this kid has what it takes to hold his own in a scene with Downey when it comes time to do an Avengers film and that’s more than I can say for John Krasinski. (Sorry Jim.)


THE LOSERS get a trailer…

The Losers

Here’s the first look at the film adaptation of Vertigo’s THE LOSERS, which looks so damned good that I’m almost afraid that this is some sort of hallucination brought on by a whiskey overdose…
CLICK TO VIEW