Unilaterally Sarcastic, Dangerously Cheesy

Posts tagged “why am I doing this

Cosplay Catch-up

75% percent of the searches leading to this site have a varation of “sexy cosplay” in them, and I feel like I haven’t been catering to that crowd lately. They’re the ones who give us a fair share of hits and yet I haven’t posted anyone in an awkward costume for like a month now. So I’m going to remedy that by posting some pictures in the hopes of appeasing my readership.

Enjoy.

Nice sash

Peachy Keen

She doesn't need a radar to find my Dragon balls.

Somewhere, Bendis is touching himself

Bagpipe Guy Steals The Show


Your Monday M.O.D.O.K. Moment

This is someone's fetish...
From Marvel Superhero Squad

Every Monday, we will bring you a panel, snapshot, or drawing
of the greatest Marvel character of all time
in an attempt to generate awareness of his glory.
This will end only when we run out of
glorious MODOK Material.

Which will be never.


Something You Rarely See…

Happy Happy Joy Joy
Presented without comment.


More Possible Megan Fox Replacements AKA I Have Way Too Much Time To Waste On Google Image Search

Pictured : One Dumb Bitch

Could you imagine being one of the most talked about young starlets of 2007 only to become a joke in the eyes of everyone who has tired of using you as spank-bank material? Let’s face it, nobody ever took Megan Fox seriously as an actress. She had a slamming body and was pretty blunt about her sexuality in any interview she gave. She even had that faux-nerd cred going on by strutting around town wearing Star Wars shirts and claiming to like comic books and whatnot. Yeah, tease the fanboys, make them think you’re one of them. That’ll ensure they’ll pay the $20 you’ll charge at conventions for a photo and an autograph.

But now she’s proven she can’t sell a movie based on sex alone (Jennifer’s Body) and Jonah Hex looks like something the general public will reject on principle and the fanboys will ravage for not honoring the source material. Then the dumb bitch couldn’t keep her mouth shut and now Michael Bay has brought down the hammer of KRAWW!!! upon her ass and kicked her off the Transformers set and plans to cast a new female lead.

I mentioned some choices earlier, but let’s see if we can’t make a complete list here. Granted, this list really is just an excuse for me to troll Google image search looking for sexy pictures of women I would like to do the dirty with. But is that so wrong? I’m sure it’ll gimme mega traffic for the next week, and I am not going to lie and say I don’t want that to happen.

ASHLEY GREENE

Greene got me seein' red...

Okay, so, all I know about this girl is that she leaked some nekkie pics onto the interwebs sometime while she was filming Twilight, a series that she might get cast out of in the final installment because she wants more money, which aint gonna happen. If she does get knocked on her keester, maybe she’ll take a reduced pay cut to get a larger audience by replacing Megan Fox in Transformers 3. Let’s face it, Twilight fans won’t follow the stars to other movies, if they did Remember Me would have made some serious bank and The Runaways would have registered on people’s radar. But that didn’t happen, because Twilight fans are only interested in Twilight. I think it has to do with the fact that such people are easily distracted by shiny objects and then they forget where they are.

Yeah, Twilight fans are retarded raccoons.

There.

I said it.

ANNALYNNE McCORD

ANAL-Lynne?

Her name almost has “anal” in it and she’s so hot it almost effing hurts. I mean seriously, this girl oozes the sexy and I usually don’t go for blondes. I’m more into the sultry brunette look that girls like Ms. Greene above bring to the table, but seriously, this girl is one fine piece of eye candy. Also, see the evidence pictured below:

[insert cream filling joke]

I want to be that doughnut right now.

OLIVIA MUNN

I want to have a case of the Munn-days.

She’s racking up cameo bit parts in movies like Iron Man 2 left and right, and so long as the role doesn’t call for insane acting talent on the par of Dame Judy Dench or Meryl Streep, which in a Transformers movie would be about as unlikely as Geoff Johns passing up an opportunity to brutally kill of a c-list hero in a crossover, Ms. Munn would be a more than adequate replacement for Megan Fox. Personally I think Olivia’s hotter than Megan Fox ever was simply due to the fact that she doesn’t look like she secrets enough grease to supply the fryers at Burger King for a day.

KIM KARDASHIAN

Boot-ee

Admittedly, this is a terrible choice. This woman annoys me just about as much as any other pseudo celebrity making the rounds nowadays, but I just felt like posting a picture of that scrumptious backside.

In short, this girl is the reason God gave us the ballgag.

LADY GAGA

I have no joke for Lady Gaga that hasn't already been made...

Not because I think she’d be a good fit, but because I really want to see Optimus Prime sing “Poker Face.” I think I could die happy after that.

COBIE SMULDERS

I'd Smulder her Cobie...

I don’t watch How I Met Your Mother, which apparently she’s a central character on. But I saw The Slammin’ Salmon, and she was just plain gorgeous in that film, and honestly of all the girls on the list, she seems like she has the most legitimate acting chops, as she managed to pull off some great dramatic work in that film while at the same time holding her own with the rapid-fire comedy. She was supposed to be Wonder Woman, for crying out loud. Yeah, she’d do fine.

OLIVIA WILDE

The crowd goes Wilde

Here’s a nother girl who actually has some acting talent. She holds her own with Hugh Laurie on House which is not an easy feat. That man is awesomesauce. Wilde will also see her mainstream star on the rise when Tron Legacy hits the web later this year and we all get to oogle her assets in skintight leather:


For No Discernable Reason, A Lexi Belle Picture Post


As a result of the Batman XXX trailer being posted on this blog, just about anytime anyone searches for “porn” and “comic books” in the same Google stream, they end up here. In an attempt to cater to those who have shown up arbitrarily in the hopes of seeing more nudity than they recieved, I have some not quite inappropriate pictures of Lexi Belle, who plays Batgirl in the aforementioned parody.

This was a fun post to research.

You’re welcome.


Serious Blogger Is Serious

Earlier today, I engaged in a debate about the merits of Old Man Logan on Twitter with Sex Food and Comic Books contributor and nerdress Satine Phoenix. It all began with a simple tweet:

To which, I responded:

Leading to:

All of which leads me to post this:

Please note that I’m only posting this because I’m incredibly bored and I think it’s funny. Satine is great and so is Joe,  her co-conspirator over at SFCB. They run an awesome site and though our tastes may run in different directions sometimes, it’s nice to have someone to discuss these things with.


Cosplay Appreciation Week – Day Four : Black Canary

Here two people cosplay as a cancelled series...

Black Canary is a hard costume to pull off. You really have to have the legs to rock those fishnets and be fully prepared for the attention that said fishnets will garner. You go to a convention wearing those babies and you can expect a plethora of stares and requests for pictures that will probably end up in some nerds fap bank. Thank god a bold few can actually pull it off.

Why is she smiling? Her marriage is ov...OH!

I actually like this classic version, with the blue jacket. So sue me.

Two for One

Nothing Funny Here, Move Along

Bonus Catwoman

Serious Canary Is Serious


Cosplay Appreciation Week – Day Three : Black Widow

Da.

Surprisingly, I haven’t really made that much of a big deal out of IRON MAN 2 hitting theaters here soon. I am really psyched about it, as I loved the first one and the more I watch it the higher it climbs on my ladder of superhero flicks. Honestly, I’ll pop it in and get more out of it than I will THE DARK KNIGHT, but then again two and a half hours of Christian Bale’s growly rape voice is sometimes more than I can handle. Anyhow, Black Widow is in IRON MAN 2, and funnily, I think some of the cosplayers did a better job with the costume than the production designers for that film, so enjoy!

Glasses. Yes.

In retrospect, Bruce Campbell would have made an awesome Nick Fury...

Random Sexual Innuendo

Redheads. That's Why You're Here.

Her eyes are a perfect mixture of come hither and also gtfo.


Cosplay Appreciation Week – Day Two : Mary Marvel

Happy now, google?

For some reason, the searches leading to this site range all over the damned map. But in addition to just plain “sexy cosplay” or the like, we get alot and I mean A LOT of searches for “Mary Marvel” and I figured now was the time to give the people what they want. One thing I noticed while researching this post, is that there are far more people cosplaying as dark Mary Marvel than happy-go-lucky-innocent Mary Marvel. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Watch the hits roll in...

This should attract the goth demographic...

Bonus Huntress

Latex. That's another base covered...

Another classic. Almost a rarity...

Stop staring


A Tribute To Sexy Supergirl Cosplay

It is a testament to my perversion that I know which professional latex model this is...
Is there anything better than hot chicks dressed up as Supergirl? I mean, I suppose hot chicks dressed up like Catwoman or something like that. But for the purposes of this post we’re just going to have to agree that hot girls in miniskirts rock pretty darn hard.

Why am I making this post? It’s not because I’m lazy and have no content prepared, because I’d tell you if that were the case. Remember Batman on the elephant? Yeah, search for it. I’m doing this because for the last week 50% of my traffic has come from google searches about “cosplay” or “hot cosplay chicks” and damnit who am I to not cater to that portion of my readership?

So enjoy!

...but I don't know this one so that makes it okay.

Nice belt...

There's a blonde joke here somewhere...

Bonus Harley Quinn

Save the best for las(s)t...

G’night everybody!


All Women Look The Same To Superman

All That Glop

And that’s how he convinces Lois it’s not cheating…


Good News/Bad News : CCQ Bought by NEWSARAMA

Our New Masters

Hey guys, sorry I’ve been MIA for the last few days but it’s been a mixture of personal issues as well as the news I’m about to speak about here regarding the future of the site. As you may have guessed by the giant logo at the beginning of this post as well as the fact that it’s in the title, Comics Con Queso will be heading in a new direction under the banner of one of the premier comic websites on the net, NEWSARAMA.COM.

Apparently, for some reason I can’t fathom, someone over there likes what they’ve seen thus far with my writing and decided that we would be a great fit over on their site, and I’m not going to turn down a steady paycheck to write for an established site just to feed my own ego and operate with a level of autonomy. This way I can get my content to a larger audience without having to pay for the bandwidth or advertising myself. This is really a win/win situation.

I’ve been told that there were many reasons for the buyout of Comics Con Queso, not the least of which is our forum, with four semi-regular posters, that’s double what Newsarama gets in any given month, so it’s obvious why they would want to get those people on board (no pun intended).

So basically what will happen is that this blog will act as an archive, a testament to what I’ve done thus far while the blog will be mixed into the Newsarama weekly schedule, with a week’s worth of content being shoved into a single entry and posted all at once, (probably on a Saturday if what I’ve been told is correct.)

I hope you’ll follow me over there, as I have greatly enjoyed putting this little blog together. Of course my weekly reviews will likely disappear, as they already have a team doing that and I don’t want to step on their toes. But I don’t think I’ll have a problem at all coming up with decent content now that someone is paying me to do so.

Thank you all for your support, and god bless you all.

P.S. If you honestly thought this was real, maybe I do deserve to be getting paid to write elsewhere. As this was all a prank. Your weekly reviews will be online tomorrow. Peace out!


Shameless Traffic Grab : Lexi Belle as Harley Quinn

If we formed a convention around her it'd be a  "Lexicon"

I have no clue WHY Lexi Belle (twitter alias @OMG_LEXIBELLE) is dressed up like Harley Quinn. I’m assuming it’s for that forthcoming Batman porno parody I mentioned about a month ago. That having been said, there is no reason NOT to post a cute girl essentially cosplaying as the Joker’s main squeeze. So enjoy!


Spring Break Week – Day Seven

Oooooo-oooooh Witchey woman...

Again, thank you Adam Hughes.


Spring Break Week – Day Six

I’d just like to take this time to say that I really like Adam Hughes.


Spring Break Week – Day Five

Polaris. [Insert “visible bush” joke here]


Spring Break Week – Day Four

The Black Widow. She sure does have a consistent wardrobe…


Spring Break Week – Day Three

Defeating the purpose of a Brazilian Wax.

Medusa, completely defeating the purpose of a Brazilian wax…


Spring Break Week – Day Two

Noir? More like yes-ir. What? That Makes Sense.

From Marvel’s Swimsuit Special back in the day…VAL COOPER IN A BIKINI EVERYBODY!


Spring Break Week – Day One

Someone Clean The Pool, It Turned That Lady Green!

I am going to basically take the week off for spring break, but each day I’ll update with pictures of superheroes in bikinis. Because I have integrity.


And Now, A Random Deadpool Moment…

Deadpool 17From Deadpool v. 2 # 17


We Have A Discussion Forum Now!

The web address ccq-blog.info should now lead you to the forums. My hope is to build a thriving internet community where people can come together and discuss all kinds of different topics, not the least of which being the comic books I detail here on the blog.

Tell your friends! Join today!


A Completely Useless (Yet Somehow Comic Related) Status Update

Erection Junction, What's Your Function?

There’s your disturbing visual for the day.

A’thankya.


Marvel Comics Takes A Moment To Piss Me Off

Apparently, Marvel Comics has decided that it wanted to hurt me in some way and they couldn’t decide between kicking me directly in the narbles with a steel-toed shoe or cancelling one of my favorite books. I’m pretty sure they decided on cancellation based solely on the fact that they couldn’t find a shoe in the appropriate size at a reasonable cost.

AHHHH! BEASTIALITY! RUN!

And thus, S.W.O.R.D., a title that I have wholly enjoyed for all of three issues, is slated to get the axe at issue 5. Of course, the inevitable campaign to save the book has already begun, this time spear-headed by NerderyBlog, but very seldom do such programs work out, especially for books that have just launched and represent, for Marvel anyway, a miniscule investment with only marginal returns.

That having been said, Marvel seems to be on a path to cancel-happy wonderland. This is disheartening because, working in a comic shop as well as being a long time obsessive reader, I know how people react to new series in the first place.

“It’ll probably get cancelled, I’ll just get the trade.”

Do you know how many times I hear that when Marvel launches a new series? About as often as my brother heard me call him a worthless idiot during the course of our childhood. (That’s alot.) This mindset is not good for business in any way, shape or form, because now Marvel isn’t even letting the first trade hit stands to guage whether or not they should keep the book afloat. It’s not like over at DC where, and this is one of the few things they really got right, books like Jonah Hex continue monthly publication based off of the strength of the trades. Hell, from what I understand the entire Vertigo line is based off of this principle.

So why then does Marvel seem compelled to cut their losses at the earliest sign of reader slippage? I think that following the Disney merger, Marvel is trying to maintain a tight publishing organization that shows sizeable profits for everything they publish. This would explain why Super Hero Squad was recently relaunched for almost no discernable reason whatsoever, as well as the re-launch/re-branding of the Avengers titles coming after the end of SIEGE in April.

The problem with this strategum is that as readers, we will inevitably come to believe that Marvel as a publishing house has no fresh ideas, because in the end they will stop putting them on the stands. If they can’t make a profit off of them, why would they? This is just as much a call to arms for consumers as it is for the publisher. I know it’s asking a lot in this economy, but if you can stomach an extra 3 bucks a month, put it toward a title that you normally wouldn’t try. Just to show Marvel that we DO want creative and diverse titles on the rack. Yes, we will all still buy New Avengers and whatever event book they’ve put Bendis on at the moment, but we also want the books that are cut from a different cloth. And I would think Beast joining an agency that prevents extra-terrestrial warfare to be closer to his green-haired alien girlfriend would qualify as being cut from a different cloth.

R.I.P. S.W.O.R.D., I will certainly miss you. (Until the re-launch, or last minute un-cancelation, or return as a backup, or whatever they end up doing.)